GRATITUDE IS A KEY INGREDIENT FOR HAPPINESS

Over the years of working with people I have noticed that those who are generally happy have a deep sense of gratitude.  Such people were usually successful with their goal even if achieving this goal was very difficult.  Conversely, people for whom the glass was half empty, achieving a relatively easy goal was problematic.  Such people find it more difficult managing the problems of life.  Both self hypnosis and meditation can help with this.  There are techniques in both that lend themselves to becoming more aware of the awesomeness of nature, of what's good in one's life and to generally having a greater feeling of well being.  

WHY SHOULD I MEDITATE?

There are many reasons a person may want to meditate.  We live fast paced and often stressful lives.  We know that meditation enables a person to relax, be at peace with himself and to have a beneficial effect on health.  It helps lower blood pressure and heart rate and helps strengthen the immune system.  It can helps a person manage medical conditions, such as migraines, heart disease, and many others that are related to stress.  Medical studies have proven that meditation quiets that area of the brain responsible for the mind wandering.  Having a greater ability to focus has many positive ramifications.  Of course, many people meditate to discover their true inner spiritual core.  The late Swami Chidananda taught that our true mission in life is to use our mental faculties to bring an awakening to that spiritual awareness.  He taught, "Where as deep down your real life is spiritual if anything at all.  And if not spiritual, it is nothing at all."  Whatever your reason or reasons for meditating may be, I feel certain it will enrich your life.  

MEDITATION AND SELF HYPNOSIS

My book, which has been on Amazon as an ebook, is now available as a paperback.  If you've tried to meditate and have had difficulty or if you want to begin, this could be a big help to you.  It will help you determine what is the best meditation technique for you.  It describes the best ways to prepare for meditation.  Each technique described has a self hypnosis exercise designed to fit with it in a seamless manner.  Don't give up if you've been frustrated with the process.   Go to Amazon.com and type in Jeanette Bayda Perkins to see if you think this might be useful to you. 

HOW CAN I USE SELF HYPNOSIS TO GET THROUGH A DENTAL APPOINTMENT?

I was recently asked by a friend for advice for getting through a dental appointment when I realized I had not addressed this in my blog.  So, let's move away from meditation for the moment and get back to self hypnosis for a problem with which many of us deal.  

Think about a special place, a place that is peaceful and relaxing to you.  Decide where you want to go before practicing this technique.  Sit comfortably with your eyes closed and your limbs uncrossed.  Take several deep breaths, exhaling slowly.  A slow exhalation is important to attain maximum relaxation and to avoid hyperventilation.  You can then return to your usual rhythmic breathing.  Imagine your special place.  See the sights and colors as vividly as you can.  Hear the sounds.  Experience the feelings, both tactile and emotional.  As discussed in a previous entry, one sense will probably be dominant so emphasize that sense in your imagery.  Now count slowly from 50 - 1.  Once you've reached the count of 1, count 1-5 and open your eyes.  Practice this daily to develop a conditioned response to ensure that when you use it in the dentist's chair it will work quickly and well.

When you are in the dentist's chair, close your eyes and take several deep breaths with slow exhalations.   You can then return to your usual breathing, but can take other deep breaths any time you need to during the procedure.  Imagine your special place and count from 50-1.  You will be used to doing this and it should be easy and effective.  However, if it is a particularly uncomfortable procedure and you have difficulty with the imagery, you can always count.  The deep breaths and counting will still work well for you.  Just make sure you count slowly as it will help keep you calm.  Once you reach the count of 1 simply go back to 50 and continue until the procedure is over.  

I've used this technique with many clients and have used it myself with great success.

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO PREPARE FOR A SELF HYPNOSIS AND/OR MEDITATION SESSION?

We are creatures of habit and can use this to our advantage.  Before sitting down to do self hypnosis and/or meditate, think about something or things you can do each time to create an association with that mellow feeling you have while in this state.  You might want to wear the same article of clothing each time.  You might choose one place for your session that you always use.  You might light a candle first.  As soon as you do one or all of these things, you begin to relax and set the mood for a more satisfying session.  Is it absolutely necessary?  No, but it helps. 

HOW DO I KNOW WHICH FORM OF MEDITATION TO USE?

There are many styles or forms of meditation.  Selecting the one that is right for you is critical.  For example, one type of meditation is to visualize something or someone of spiritual significance or, if used for relaxation only, something that brings a feeling of peacefulness.   If, however, you are not a visual person, you should not struggle to develop your visual skills.  It would be better to find a different form of meditation.  Using a mantra, for example, can be used by anyone regardless of which sense is dominant.  There are many styles of meditation that do not call upon visual ability that may work well for you.  There are many books and articles on meditation.  In my book, Meditation and Self Hypnosis, I describe seven different forms of meditation, what the significance and advantages of each one are, and which sense or senses are predominantly used by each one.  With each form of meditation, I have devised a brief form of self hypnosis to do prior to beginning meditation to help you relax and focus.  This makes it much easier to quiet your mind and immerse yourself into the experience.  If you aren't sure which sense is most dominant in you, try daydreaming about a relaxing scene, see it, hear it and feel it.  Then determine what was easiest and clearest in your mind.  This is the first step, but it is a very important one.  Many people have given up thinking that they couldn't meditate simply because they selected a form of meditation that wasn't right for them.

WHY IS SELF HYPNOSIS SUCH AN IDEAL VEHICLE INTO MEDITATION

As you can see from other posts, self hypnosis helps us to focus inward, on ourselves.  As we gain a greater self understanding, we can more easily improve.  Meditation is generally used for spiritual elevation and awareness.  If we believe that the very essence of one's self is God, there is clearly a relationship between the two.  Hypnosis accesses the subconscious mind, which is connected to our ego identified self as well as our inner or Higher Self, the universal spark that is within us and that permeates through all of reality.  I believe that is why there is such great power with these relatively simple techniques.  This is not something one can measure with brain wave studies or any other objective quantification.  It is something, once experienced, you know is very real.

WHAT IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SELF HYPNOSIS AND MEDITATION?

If you were to get into self hypnosis and meditation in depth, you will find the answer to this question has many levels.  I will answer the question here in a way that is relevant for most of us.  When brain wave studies were done with people who were in several levels of hypnosis and meditation, the results look the same.  Both allow the practitioner to relax and focus his or her mind.  Self hypnosis is generally used for self improvement while meditation is generally used for spiritual connection.  While there are definitely exceptions to this distinction, this is usually true.  It is also true that while meditating you may get insight into a personal issue and sometimes when you do self hypnosis you may have a spiritual experience.  Most instructions for meditation are fairly general while instructions for self hypnosis are very specific.    

IF I ALREADY DO MEDITATION, DO I HAVE TO DO SELF HYPNOSIS AT A SEPARATE TIME?

Absolutely not.  I often work with people who already meditate.  Before I devise a method of self hypnosis, I ask them exactly how they meditate.  I then adapt the self hypnosis to be done first, but to fit seamlessly into the meditation.  There are similarities and differences between hypnosis and meditation, which I plan to go into in later posts.  However, they have enough in common to make self hypnosis the perfect vehicle from a busy mind into meditation.  If you already meditate and would like to do self hypnosis for a particular goal, feel free to email me and I would be happy to work with you to have one very satisfying session including both.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GO DEEPER INTO A PROBLEM TO RELEASE IT

I often work with people who have had bad experiences in their past that still continue to plague them.  It may manifest in the form of sleep problems and nightmares, anxiety attacks, fears of one form or another, or in many other ways.  I'm not talking about repressed memory syndrome, but rather clearly remembered experiences that a person simply can't get passed.  Hypnosis can be helpful in allowing a person to deeply relax and accept suggestions about the ways in which their life is now very good, they deserve to enjoy their life (listing the aspects of their life that specifically mean the most to them) and helping the person put the past experiences in perspective so they can move on.  Coupled with a self-hypnosis program reinforcing these suggestions often will allow the person to move past these experiences and to enjoy their life more fully.  However, at times this is not enough and the person continues to suffer.  On these occasions it is useful to go more deeply into the experience.  By this time the client and I know each other pretty well and a bond of trust has been formed.  I will put the person into hypnosis, deepening it as much as possible, and then gently guide them through the painful experience.  If I see that their anxiety level increases, I will pause to relax and reassure them before continuing.  It can be painful and difficult for the client to go through this, but the benefits are well worth it.  Most of the time the client will feel a sense of relief or of letting go to a large extent following this hypnosis session and whatever symptoms they have been experiencing will begin to subside.  Further sessions to reinforce this progress will often eliminate the problem or reduce it to a tolerable level.  

This technique of going into and reliving an experience is suggested to help avoid post traumatic stress syndrome as well.  The closer the hypnotic reliving session is to the actual experience, the more effectively it reduces the person's likelihood of developing PTSD.  In either case, it is important for the hypnotist to know the client well enough to know that they are mentally stable enough to benefit from this technique.  If the person has a therapist, it is useful to be in touch with that therapist, with the client's approval, to discuss what your plans are before proceeding.  I have seen astonishing results with this technique and, used cautiously, can be an extremely useful tool in helping someone who has been suffering.     

CAN HYPNOSIS BE USED FOR TWO OR THREE PROBLEMS AT ONCE?

Many people go to a hypnotist for one major problem, but once there, want to work on one or even several more.  If these problems are related, there should be no difficulty doing this.  For example, if a woman is  being seen for weight loss and one of the reasons she overeats is stress related, then stress reduction should be part of the overall program.  If the problems are unrelated, it would be best to experience success with one before going on to another.  Given the same problem of weight control as the primary problem for which a woman seeks help, but she also wants to work on her fear of flying, it would not be a good idea to work on them simultaneously.  Weight control is generally dealt with by suggestions and imagery during hypnosis and a self-hypnosis program utilizing an affirmation.  Fear of flying would be best overcome by going through a phobia desensitization process.  Hypnosis and self- hypnosis are used initially in a general way to achieve a conditioned response to a particular self-hypnosis technique.  After a few sessions, a process of mental rehearsal during hypnosis can be initiated by the hypnotist to help the client visualize the entire flying process, interrupting every time she becomes even a little tense to calm her down with the technique taught in self-hypnosis.  Eventually, the client will be able to use this technique on her own when she has to take a flight and be significantly calmer.  Every time she flies and the technique works well, the conditioned response she had of anxiety connected with flying becomes weaker and eventually goes away completely.  For obvious reasons, it is probably best in this case to work on one problem until success has been achieved.  Once the work on the second goal has begun, suggestions of reinforcement of the initial goal can certainly be used with each session.  

WILL I HAVE AMNESIA?

Most hypnotists will tell you initially that you will remember everything that is said, and you may.  As you become more comfortable with hypnosis, your conscious mind may wander a bit as you become more deeply relaxed.  You may be very tuned in to what the hypnotist is saying one minute, and tune out the next.  If this happens, your memory of exactly what was said may be fuzzy.  You need not be concerned if this happens as your subconscious is always tuned in.  Most hypnotists will verbally go over everything that is important for you to remember when you are not in hypnosis and put in writing those instructions that are most important for you to follow.  Even if you were given the suggestion that you would not remember, since you are always in control of your own mind you may choose to remember anyway.  In the thirty years I have been practicing I have never given this instruction because I have never found a situation for which this would be warranted.

IF I'M NERVOUS OR SKEPTICAL, CAN I STILL BE HYPNOTIZED?

Most people are somewhat nervous on their first appointment just because it's a new experience.  I also find that most people who have never been hypnotized before are skeptical that they will be able to be hypnotized.  Discussing your fears and doubts will generally be all you need to overcome them.  If you would prefer not to for some reason, there are a number of alternatives.  You can bring a friend along as an observer or just make an appointment to talk and have your questions answered.  Having a discussion with another person who has been hypnotized will also go a long way to alleviate your fears.  Actually just letting go and allowing yourself to experience whatever you experience will be all you need to overcome your skepticism.  These two problems for the most part both stem from misconceptions.  Reading a bit about hypnosis and discussing the hypnosis process with the hypnotist should dispel any misconceptions and help you to have a pleasant and successful experience.

Does Public Speaking Make You Nervous? Here Are Some Helpful Tips

Many people get nervous when having to speak publicly.  This can happen when you have to give a speech or when you simply want to contribute to a discussion during a meeting at work.  If you are doing the five minute self-hypnosis exercise that I recommended, by now you have developed a conditioned response to relaxing whenever you mentally count backwards from 50 to 1.  This simply means that your mind now associates relaxation with counting backwards, thus allowing you to begin to relax very quickly.  You can use this basic technique to help you with public speaking.  First, make your affirmation,  "Whenever I begin to count back from fifty, I feel peaceful, calm and relaxed."  Use this self-hypnosis technique with that affirmation for at least three weeks before using it to help you when you are called upon to speak publicly.  Once you have completed this, you can begin to use it in the following manner:  Before you are about to begin your talk, mentally begin counting back from fifty.  You will immediately begin to relax even though you will not go into self-hypnosis.  You can do this right up until you begin speaking.  This will definitely take the edge off and the more you use it, the more effectively it will work for you.


Another useful tool to use is to practice taking a deep breath and speaking on the exhalation.  If you're practicing your speech, try doing it that manner  When you actually begin your talk, begin by speaking on the exhalation.  You will sound very calm, even if you don't feel as calm as you would like.  Once you hear how even you sound, you will begin to feel calmer and more confident and will probably be able to continue breathing as you normally would for the remainder of your speech.


These two tools together should work very nicely for you if practiced regularly.  

Quick Relaxation

At times you may have only a couple of minutes but you know that you need to calm down.  I am going to describe a technique that takes about two minutes to do and works very well.  Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths.  You can continue deep breaths with slow exhalations throughout or return to normal rhythmic breathing.  Try both and see what works best for you.  With your eyes closed, focus passively on the top of your head and mentally say, "the top of my head is relaxing."  Focus on your temples and say, "my temples are relaxing."  Continue with your eyes, cheeks, mouth, jaws and chin, neck, arms and hands, back, chest stomach, lower abdomen, legs and feet.  With each part, focus passively, mentally say that that part is relaxing, then move on.  It should not be rushed, but don't linger on each part either.  If any part of your body is particularly tense, you might take a bit longer with it.  For example, if your back is tight, focus on the top of your back first, the middle of your back next and your lower back last.  Then say, "my whole back is relaxed."  Once you have gone through your whole body, do a quick body scan.  If any part is still tight, again focus on it and say that it is relaxing.  Finish by mentally saying, "my whole body is relaxed."  You can do this little exercise every one to two hours if you wish.  You will find that at the end of the day you are significantly more relaxed than you usually are.

More On Affirmations

  As stated before, an affirmation should be simple, positive and believable and said ten times after counting from 50 - 1.  Generally, there are two parts to an affirmation, so each affirmation is generally two sentences.   The first part is the goal.  The goal states what you want to do that you are not currently doing.  The second part is the primary purpose.  This is the basic reason you want to do it.  The goal may be, "I'm a nonsmoker for life."  It may be, "I will eat in a healthy way and exercise regularly."  There may be many reasons why you want to do these things, but you want to get to the heart of the matter.  If you want to become a nonsmoker your primary purpose statement might read, "I will be healthier and live longer."  If you want to lose weight your primary purpose statement might read, "I will look and feel better about myself."  Take your time forming both parts of your affirmation to narrow it down to the most important parts of what you want to say.  If you need help with this, leave me a message in the comment section and I'll be happy to help you form the best affirmation for your goal.

Affirmations

An affirmation is a positive statement about something you want to accomplish.  There are guidelines for making an affirmation for yourself.


First - it should be simple.  I have clients who come to me with two page lists of all of the things about themselves they would like to improve.  OK, I admit it.  I have a list like that myself.  Narrow it down to one thing that you would like to focus on.  I will use simply relaxing as an example since most of us need this from time to time.


Second - it should be positive.  Don't use words such as "don't," "won't,", "not," etc.


Third - it should be believable.  An affirmation that I read once was, "I am completely relaxed at all times, both mentally and physically."  It sounds great, but I don't know anyone who can feel that way at all times. A better affirmation would be, "I am relaxed both mentally and physically."  If you maintain a high level of tension, you might start with, "I am becoming more relaxed both mentally and physically."


Another choice would be, "Every muscle, every nerve, ever cell in my body is relaxed and letting go.  I feel peaceful, comfortable, calm and serene."  Pause between each word, creating a cadence that is, in itself, relaxing.


The most effective way to use an affirmation is to do the self hypnosis exercise already described in the previous post.  Once you've counted from 50-1, mentally say the affirmation ten times.  You can keep track by pressing down a finger with each repetition.  Once you've said it ten times, count from one to five and open your eyes.


I will discuss more about affirmations and how to create them for other goals in the next post.  

Self Hypnosis

Self hypnosis is a wonderful tool to use to achieve a goal or to just relax.  I will describe a basic self hypnosis technique that only takes about five minutes to do and is very relaxing.


Sit in a comfortable position and focus on a spot just above eye level.  Only lift your eyes, not your head.  Make sure the spot isn't too high because you don't want to strain your eyes.  Stare at the spot passively as you take deep breaths.  It may become blurry or you may see two of them.  This is normal.  Take four deep breaths, exhale slowly and mentally say "relax"  with each one.  Take your time with this.  Take a fifth deep breath, hold as you count from five to one, exhale slowly as you close your eyes.  It will feel good to close them because your eyes will now feel tired.


Mentally count from 50 to 1 slowly.  If you lose your number, just go back to the last number you remember saying and continue.  Once you've reached the count of one, count from one to five and open your eyes. You should feel relaxed and refreshed.  


I generally teach my clients to say an affirmation before counting from one to five, but for now it will be good to practice this technique.  I will discuss affirmations more with my next post.


Feel free to ask me questions about this, or any questions about hypnosis, on the comment section.

How Can I Get The Most Benefit From My Hypnosis Sessions

Understanding more about hypnosis will definitely help you get the most benefit from it.  It is a simple process which is, usually an extremely pleasant one.  The hypnotist creates imagery and suggestions which are individualized to suit your needs and personality.  The self-hypnosis process is also personalized to what is most effective for you.  The use of deep relaxation, creative imagery and appropriate suggestions can help you achieve positive growth and change.  Reinforcement with self-hypnosis teaches you to be in greater control of your life.  The key to success is to simply allow yourself to follow along in an easygoing manner, without trying or resisting.  The beauty of the power of hypnosis is that it all comes from your own mind.

Can Anyone Be Hypnotized?

Just about anyone can experience some degree of hypnosis.  A conservative figure would be somewhere above 90%.  Because it is such a natural state, such as daydreaming, etc., it is an easy and pleasant process to get into.  There are some people who are afraid of it or who are very rigid in their thinking.  They will not allow themselves to go into hypnosis.  As stated in a previous post, the client is always in control of his or her mind.  However, people who are totally closed to the experience of hypnosis for whatever reason will not schedule an appointment with a hypnotist.  This is not the same as being nervous or skeptical about it.  Most of my clients are somewhat nervous and skeptical on the first appointment.  Establishing rapport and taking my time with them overcomes anxiety and skepticism and working after that is much easier.  If clients are open enough to come in they should be able to be hypnotized without any problem.