Does Public Speaking Make You Nervous? Here Are Some Helpful Tips

Many people get nervous when having to speak publicly.  This can happen when you have to give a speech or when you simply want to contribute to a discussion during a meeting at work.  If you are doing the five minute self-hypnosis exercise that I recommended, by now you have developed a conditioned response to relaxing whenever you mentally count backwards from 50 to 1.  This simply means that your mind now associates relaxation with counting backwards, thus allowing you to begin to relax very quickly.  You can use this basic technique to help you with public speaking.  First, make your affirmation,  "Whenever I begin to count back from fifty, I feel peaceful, calm and relaxed."  Use this self-hypnosis technique with that affirmation for at least three weeks before using it to help you when you are called upon to speak publicly.  Once you have completed this, you can begin to use it in the following manner:  Before you are about to begin your talk, mentally begin counting back from fifty.  You will immediately begin to relax even though you will not go into self-hypnosis.  You can do this right up until you begin speaking.  This will definitely take the edge off and the more you use it, the more effectively it will work for you.


Another useful tool to use is to practice taking a deep breath and speaking on the exhalation.  If you're practicing your speech, try doing it that manner  When you actually begin your talk, begin by speaking on the exhalation.  You will sound very calm, even if you don't feel as calm as you would like.  Once you hear how even you sound, you will begin to feel calmer and more confident and will probably be able to continue breathing as you normally would for the remainder of your speech.


These two tools together should work very nicely for you if practiced regularly.  

Quick Relaxation

At times you may have only a couple of minutes but you know that you need to calm down.  I am going to describe a technique that takes about two minutes to do and works very well.  Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths.  You can continue deep breaths with slow exhalations throughout or return to normal rhythmic breathing.  Try both and see what works best for you.  With your eyes closed, focus passively on the top of your head and mentally say, "the top of my head is relaxing."  Focus on your temples and say, "my temples are relaxing."  Continue with your eyes, cheeks, mouth, jaws and chin, neck, arms and hands, back, chest stomach, lower abdomen, legs and feet.  With each part, focus passively, mentally say that that part is relaxing, then move on.  It should not be rushed, but don't linger on each part either.  If any part of your body is particularly tense, you might take a bit longer with it.  For example, if your back is tight, focus on the top of your back first, the middle of your back next and your lower back last.  Then say, "my whole back is relaxed."  Once you have gone through your whole body, do a quick body scan.  If any part is still tight, again focus on it and say that it is relaxing.  Finish by mentally saying, "my whole body is relaxed."  You can do this little exercise every one to two hours if you wish.  You will find that at the end of the day you are significantly more relaxed than you usually are.

More On Affirmations

  As stated before, an affirmation should be simple, positive and believable and said ten times after counting from 50 - 1.  Generally, there are two parts to an affirmation, so each affirmation is generally two sentences.   The first part is the goal.  The goal states what you want to do that you are not currently doing.  The second part is the primary purpose.  This is the basic reason you want to do it.  The goal may be, "I'm a nonsmoker for life."  It may be, "I will eat in a healthy way and exercise regularly."  There may be many reasons why you want to do these things, but you want to get to the heart of the matter.  If you want to become a nonsmoker your primary purpose statement might read, "I will be healthier and live longer."  If you want to lose weight your primary purpose statement might read, "I will look and feel better about myself."  Take your time forming both parts of your affirmation to narrow it down to the most important parts of what you want to say.  If you need help with this, leave me a message in the comment section and I'll be happy to help you form the best affirmation for your goal.

Affirmations

An affirmation is a positive statement about something you want to accomplish.  There are guidelines for making an affirmation for yourself.


First - it should be simple.  I have clients who come to me with two page lists of all of the things about themselves they would like to improve.  OK, I admit it.  I have a list like that myself.  Narrow it down to one thing that you would like to focus on.  I will use simply relaxing as an example since most of us need this from time to time.


Second - it should be positive.  Don't use words such as "don't," "won't,", "not," etc.


Third - it should be believable.  An affirmation that I read once was, "I am completely relaxed at all times, both mentally and physically."  It sounds great, but I don't know anyone who can feel that way at all times. A better affirmation would be, "I am relaxed both mentally and physically."  If you maintain a high level of tension, you might start with, "I am becoming more relaxed both mentally and physically."


Another choice would be, "Every muscle, every nerve, ever cell in my body is relaxed and letting go.  I feel peaceful, comfortable, calm and serene."  Pause between each word, creating a cadence that is, in itself, relaxing.


The most effective way to use an affirmation is to do the self hypnosis exercise already described in the previous post.  Once you've counted from 50-1, mentally say the affirmation ten times.  You can keep track by pressing down a finger with each repetition.  Once you've said it ten times, count from one to five and open your eyes.


I will discuss more about affirmations and how to create them for other goals in the next post.  

Self Hypnosis

Self hypnosis is a wonderful tool to use to achieve a goal or to just relax.  I will describe a basic self hypnosis technique that only takes about five minutes to do and is very relaxing.


Sit in a comfortable position and focus on a spot just above eye level.  Only lift your eyes, not your head.  Make sure the spot isn't too high because you don't want to strain your eyes.  Stare at the spot passively as you take deep breaths.  It may become blurry or you may see two of them.  This is normal.  Take four deep breaths, exhale slowly and mentally say "relax"  with each one.  Take your time with this.  Take a fifth deep breath, hold as you count from five to one, exhale slowly as you close your eyes.  It will feel good to close them because your eyes will now feel tired.


Mentally count from 50 to 1 slowly.  If you lose your number, just go back to the last number you remember saying and continue.  Once you've reached the count of one, count from one to five and open your eyes. You should feel relaxed and refreshed.  


I generally teach my clients to say an affirmation before counting from one to five, but for now it will be good to practice this technique.  I will discuss affirmations more with my next post.


Feel free to ask me questions about this, or any questions about hypnosis, on the comment section.

How Can I Get The Most Benefit From My Hypnosis Sessions

Understanding more about hypnosis will definitely help you get the most benefit from it.  It is a simple process which is, usually an extremely pleasant one.  The hypnotist creates imagery and suggestions which are individualized to suit your needs and personality.  The self-hypnosis process is also personalized to what is most effective for you.  The use of deep relaxation, creative imagery and appropriate suggestions can help you achieve positive growth and change.  Reinforcement with self-hypnosis teaches you to be in greater control of your life.  The key to success is to simply allow yourself to follow along in an easygoing manner, without trying or resisting.  The beauty of the power of hypnosis is that it all comes from your own mind.

Can Anyone Be Hypnotized?

Just about anyone can experience some degree of hypnosis.  A conservative figure would be somewhere above 90%.  Because it is such a natural state, such as daydreaming, etc., it is an easy and pleasant process to get into.  There are some people who are afraid of it or who are very rigid in their thinking.  They will not allow themselves to go into hypnosis.  As stated in a previous post, the client is always in control of his or her mind.  However, people who are totally closed to the experience of hypnosis for whatever reason will not schedule an appointment with a hypnotist.  This is not the same as being nervous or skeptical about it.  Most of my clients are somewhat nervous and skeptical on the first appointment.  Establishing rapport and taking my time with them overcomes anxiety and skepticism and working after that is much easier.  If clients are open enough to come in they should be able to be hypnotized without any problem.

How Will I feel When I'm In Hypnosis

We all experience hypnosis differently.  Usually you will feel relaxed and comfortable.  Some people describe their body as feeling pleasantly heavy, others feel light, and some do not feel different in any way yet are able to achieve goals they have struggled with in the past.  If you ask ten different people how it felt to them, you may get ten different descriptions.  The truth is you can't "feel" hypnosis itself.  In my practice I usually use relaxation techniques to induce hypnosis because most people enjoy being able to relax more than they usually are able.  However, hypnosis and relaxation are not synonymous.  You can be relaxed and not in hypnosis and vice versa.  It is a vehicle into hypnosis, but not the only one.  When I have worked with a person several times and she comes in with more to discuss than usual, I may not have enough time to do a full relaxation and address all the issues discussed.  In that case,  I will use a brief induction and proceed from there.  The closest I can describe it in terms of how it feels is to tell you what it's like.  It is like daydreaming.  It is like that twilight state when you are first waking up or just falling asleep.  It is like when you are totally absorbed in a great novel or movie.

About Hypnosis

When a client comes to me and tells me he/ she tried hypnosis before and couldn't be hypnotized, the problem almost always is misconceptions about hypnosis.  Although there is no definitive definition of hypnosis upon which all hypnotists agree, it basically is a temporary state in which the conscious mind is passive and the subconscious is alert and responsive.  As a result, a person in this state becomes more suggestible and, with the help of appropriate suggestions and guided imagery, is able to carry out suggestions beyond his or her normal capabilities.  It is a safe and pleasant experience and can be extremely powerful.  It is like the state of daydreaming where you are awake but your conscious mind is not highly active.  I find that after discussing hypnosis with a client for a few minutes, getting the person into hypnosis is not a problem.  Actually achieving the goal for which she came in is where training, imagination and intuition come into play.  If clients are motivated and do the self hypnosis taught, most people can achieve success.  I will continue to add more information about hypnosis on future posts to dispel the many misconceptions that exist.


"Will you make me bark like a dog?"  I am asked this question all the time,  jokingly but not really.  The short answer is "no."  The reason for the question is that most people have only had exposure to stage hypnosis.  While entertaining, it is very different from clinical hypnosis.  The real question they are asking is "will you be in control of my mind?"  The answer to that is a definite "no."  I guide my client through the experience and make appropriate suggestions, but he is always in control of his own mind.  The suggestions are accepted because the client wants to make certain changes and allows himself to accept these suggestions.  A person will not accept a suggestion that is against his ethics, morals, beliefs or best interest.